Not all men get better as they get older.

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I recently fired up my Ok Cupid profile again. Ever an optimist, I wrote up a hopefully interesting summary of myself as well as a clear outline of what qualities I was looking for in a man: culturally literate (specifically interested in the humanities), self-aware, communicative, and honest.

The next day, I received a message from a man. He wished me luck at finding such a man and said that I was basically looking for a unicorn — he may well be right about that. He also warned me against players and fuckboys. He told me that dating was hard.

My “Letters to Penthouse” experience

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Like so many ladies, I love to send my boyfriend naughty texts and I often include sexy pics and videos in which I get myself off. One day he asked me to include a little bit of ass play and I happily obliged by using my new dildo to fuck my ass while I used my vibrator on my clit until I came.

“You are such a good girl! How about coming over to my house tomorrow night so I can give you a special reward?”

How could I say no. Immediately, my mind started racing at what this special…

I may have game, but I have no shame

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I confess: I am a shameless slut. In itself, confessing that is shameless. But what does that mean really? I suppose it depends largely upon what one has been taught to be ashamed of.

Most women- most of society- abhor the idea of the slut. The slut being a woman who freely engages in lots of sex- passionate and perhaps promiscuous sex. Lusty sex. Forget love. Forget procreation. No obligations indicated. Sex purely for the pleasure of the flesh. That is what a slut wants: sex that she desires for no other reason than that she desires it. Its idea…

Fuck no, I won’t get busy with you in the stacks.

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When I initially started library school a few years ago, I really had no idea that being a librarian could be such a turn on to men. Then I joined Fetlife and started using dating apps. Quickly I learned just how much a fetish being a librarian is.

When men find out that I am a librarian, the vast majority have the same reaction: “yum, a sexy librarian.” Not only am I librarian but I have the whole stereotypical librarian vibe going on. I wear glasses: plastic rimmed with…

A woman’s fantasy

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Her lover was not the father of her children and she was the mother of many. She was often busy and preoccupied with the care of her brood. This made her attention all the more sweeter to him.

He understood that he could not be the primary focus of her life but he also knew she needed him. He was the respite of the pressures of her life. He was the source of pure and simple pleasure.

And so they did not meet on that Mother’s Day Sunday but instead she came to him on the Monday to celebrate Mother’s…

Masturbation is my primary sexual relationship

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I had my first orgasm when I was about ten years old.

I had been touching myself for as long as I can remember. However, this day was different. I was laying on my belly. My genital area pushed into the floor just so and an idea occurred to me: How about you stay like that but also push your fingers in while you grind into the floor?

That was probably the best idea that I have ever had in my whole life!

I did not really know it then but I ground my way to orgasm and then I…

It is a mistake to be financially dependent on anyone else.

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At this time of my life, I am watching many of my friends struggle as they go through a divorce or I am watching them desperately try to figure a way out of an incredibly unhappy marriage.

I know a few who feel just trapped and passively accept a spouse who is cheating or verbally and/or physically abusive.

I understand these women because I am one of them.

Often the root of the internal conflict as to whether to stay or go is centered around money and children. …

The unpredictable journey of motherhood.

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I have watched my very thin body morph into a whale-like state as angry purple marks grew upon my belly. I have felt the joy and fascination of little aliens rolling within my abdomen and I have felt the comfort of knowing my baby was so close to me.

I have felt the sting of a needle to numb my throbbing nether regions just prior to an episiotomy and have patiently awaited as the anesthesiologist attempted to give me an epidural- my spine not quite being where it should. …

The link between Jim Morrison and literature

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Ahhh…Jim Morrison. The Doors’ Lizard King. The man of my emerging sexuality’s fantasies. The ultimate sapiosexual libertine’s wet dream.

I have been a Doors fan for as long as I can remember and have been listening to them a lot recently. Their music and lyrics are simply fantastic: moody, evocative, and free. They came of age in the Age of Aquarius but the Doors were not really flower children. Rather they have a rather dark side and perhaps that makes them perfectly emblematic of the sixties. It wasn’t all peace and love. …

Taking a ride on my dominant side

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I sat on his face

He wanted me to.

I wanted to.

Like so many women, I started my “kink journey “ as a sub. I wanted a dom. Except I realized that I was not a submissive and I did not want a dominant. However, I also know that I am not a domme and I don’t want a submissive.

The more involved that I have become in kink and BDSM, the more that I have grown to reject definition and strict role playing. The idea of protocol turns my stomach. It is simply not for me.

When I…

Zara Everly

NY based writer and sex positive bibliophile. I write often about sexuality with an emphasis on sex positivity and female empowerment.

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