Making friends through social media.

Photo by Sarah Brown on Unsplash

Recently, I joined a Facebook group for local singles over the age of forty. My reason was mainly that most of my friends are married and it would be nice to make friends in my area who are also single. I also thought that maybe members may discuss single parenting and the divorce process.

Once in the group, the group leaders made a welcome announcement for me as well as a few other people who had just joined.

It was a nice gesture.

Immediately a man that I didn’t know sent me a friend request. Predictable, I suppose. …

And I am one step closer to freedom.

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The other day was my twenty-seventh wedding anniversary.

On that same day, I rejoiced but not for the reasons that you would expect. I rejoiced because my ex finally left the house after being asked to several times.

I rejoiced because he had more or less left on his own accord. I rejoiced for my freedom.

My romantic relationship with my kids’ father ended well over four years ago. Initially, we decided we would wait on formalizing the termination of our marriage and continue to live together.

We agreed that it would be better for the kids and that it…

Masturbation is my primary sexual relationship

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I had my first orgasm when I was about ten years old.

I had been touching myself for as long as I can remember. However, this day was different. I was laying on my belly. My genital area pushed into the floor just so and an idea occurred to me: How about you stay like that but also push your fingers in while you grind into the floor?

That was probably the best idea that I have ever had in my whole life!

I did not really know it then but I ground my way to orgasm and then I…

Not all men get better as they get older.

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I recently fired up my Ok Cupid profile again. Ever an optimist, I wrote up a hopefully interesting summary of myself as well as a clear outline of what qualities I was looking for in a man: culturally literate (specifically interested in the humanities), self-aware, communicative, and honest.

The next day, I received a message from a man. He wished me luck at finding such a man and said that I was basically looking for a unicorn — he may well be right about that. He also warned me against players and fuckboys. He told me that dating was hard.

The tradition of women giving up their identity when they get married

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I grew up with a ridiculously long, hard to spell, and difficult to pronounce Polish last name. I hated it. I invariably had to say it a few times because people could not grasp what I was saying. They would try to say it back but no one ever could say it correctly.

No one could ever spell it either.

I also grew up in a largely Italian-American suburb of Long Island, New York. While I was just as much Italian-American as I was Polish-American, my last name did not indicate that Italian-American history. …

I am not a nice woman

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I am not a nice woman and I never said that I was.

Let me elaborate: I am generally nice. I am pleasant to be around. I am amicable and often very accommodating.

Nonetheless, I will stand up for myself when I am pushed. I have little patience for the men who bombard my inbox and my content with inappropriate comments and remarks. Apparently, when you tell someone that you don’t like the way they are treating you, you become a big ole meanie. A bitch, if you will.

Men of social media: I have little patience for you and…

Big dicks and the three big dicks in my life.

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I have met a number of dicks in my life. Naturally, I have had a big dick or two or three.

In no specific order…

There was Tony from Brooklyn (of course! Tony and Brooklyn are a natural pair). He was an interesting fellow who dropped out of school in the ninth grade. He liked Heavy Metal and although in his early thirties, he still lived at home.

A major winner!

Nevertheless, he did have a big dick. It was quite the sight to see and definitely felt good inside of me. …

Taking me in all of the ways and with all of the toys

Photo by Manuel Nägeli on Unsplash

I am on all fours, sucking his cock, while he strokes my ass. I deep throat him a bit. I gag a little too- as happens when a cock is deep in your throat.

I am lost in the cock sucking, savoring the quiet of mind that seems inherent to a blow job.

I hear his voice

“Baby- how do you want me to fuck you?”

(I am caught off guard. I struggle to think: What? Huh? My mind is clearly focused elsewhere)

“Hard” I answer hopefully.

(Sounds like a good answer, right? What is the right answer?)

As a…

Learning to make myself a priority

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I have a terrible habit of not walking away from relationships when I should. There are many reasons for this. For instance, I am excellent at making excuses.

“Oh, he is busy.”

“He has a lot going on. He is going through things”

“He needs to work as much as he does.”

A partner should be supportive, right? They shouldn’t just walk away when they are needed the most, right?

I was brought up to be considerate of others. I was brought up not to be a bother to other people. The message that I received was: you are selfish…

The scene was super hot but still a terrible idea; the ethics of public play

Photo by Mateus Campos Felipe on Unsplash

I had mentioned that I was wearing a black thong. He had mentioned that he wanted to see it.

We had sat by this little stream talking of many things including a recounting of the previous evening’s debauchery and just spanking in general. My ass had been violated — roughly finger fucked and stretched, spanked, and cropped.

Eventually, we walked away from the stream and we headed to his car. As we walked past the quaint city hall, I noticed a private alcove that dived down a little bit under street level.

I beckoned him to follow me there and…

Zara Everly

NY based writer and sex positive bibliophile. I write often about sexuality with an emphasis on sex positivity and female empowerment.

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